I decided to spin this lil corner of the internet back up again in order to have a place to vent on things I don't want to bother my dear friends on FaceBook about: my fitness and health journey. Notice this isn't my "Weight Loss Blog!" or my "PUNISH MYSELF FOR EATING A CUPCAKE" blog. I intend to do quite a few things differently than I have done before (because they were obviously working SO well. *sarcasm*).
A little about how I got to where I am. When people say "Nothing can stop you working out!!" they aren't always right. I've tried to at least remain active through medical trial that literally sucked the sodium out of my body, but the crippling muscle cramps under any activity really made that difficult. Intense, violent and energy-sucking fibromalgia attacks made just going to work a study in pain tolerance and sleep deprivation. Sprinkle that with a little depression and some horrible intestinal issues, and yes...sometimes it really does get impossible to get active. So the end of last year and the beginning of this one was spent fixing these to the best of my ability. I am now at the end of my medical trial, my fibro has been fairly manageable, the passing of winter has improved my depression and my intestines...well...they continue to be an issue, but at least they won't kill me now (more on that later).
So I made a plan. Come hell or high water, I intend on sticking to it. I will not punish myself if I need to diverge from this plan due to injury or illness, but I will do my damnedest to go back on any path I leave. Here's some of my rules for myself:
First, I have weighed myself for the first and last time today. I am facing that number only once (208) but I will not jump on a scale again until my doctors appointment. I will not be playing the daily numbers game, desperately weighing myself after each bathroom visit (did that REALLY weigh a whole pound??) or first thing when I wake up (who the hell wants to start every morning with that bullshit?). Instead, I will focus on how my clothes fit and feel and on how *I* feel. If that means I don't lose a pound then so be it.
Second, I will not be counting calories or following a diet. My plan is to eat as cleanly as possible, and to triple my fruit and veggie intake. This means actual fruits and veggies. I will avoid overly processed foods and things loaded with sugar. I will continue my avoidance of HFCS (I know this is highly disputed, but personally I have an intolerance to this...it makes me retain water and puff up like crazy, I can only imagine the inflammation it does to my insides!!). The one thing I will NOT do is punish myself for what I eat. If I have a cookie, I will enjoy the hell out of that cookie. If I want a small piece of bread, I will have that piece of bread. I will practice moderation and will not get angry with myself if I eat the "wrong things"
Third, I will try to turn myself into a runner. I love running. I love the wind in my hair, the ground moving beneath my feet and the weightlessness it brings. For so many years, my asthma has been so out of control, running was difficult. However, with the new medications out there, it has been in better control than it ever has been. So the fun begins! Started my c25k program today which is a wonderful program to get people off the couch and pounding the pavement. I have an amazing motivator in my friend Dani, so we will kick each others asses to do this! I plan on sprinkling in some Pilates/Yoga for flexibility and some cross training for strength. I will probably modify my "training" over time as I grow stronger or find something more interesting, but lets start with this!
Finally, I plan on being kind to myself. No more standing in front of the mirror and berating myself for what a fatass I think I've become. No more making faces at myself and saying "ugly...ugly...fat...GROSS". No more looking down at myself in clothing and being in tears because I think I look too disgusting. This is my body, my temple, who has faithfully carried my being for 34 years. Yes, sometimes I feel betrayed by it when it is in pain or won't perform how I want, but I need to be gentle and kind. There will be no abusing my body or "beating" it into shape. I will do things that make it feel good and strong and beautiful.
I will do this.
I run on Day 1, for myself. I run for my health, my well-being and my joy.
